Doctor Jokes Humor and Satire
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      • Whole Again
        02/27/08
        There once was a poor lad named Timmy who had the misfortune of being born with only a head - no arms, no legs, nothing but a head. Now Timmy was a basically happy person and he was loved and cared for by his family. As long as he stayed within the shelter of his family he was unworried by his condi

      • Terrible Pain
        02/25/08
        A lady midget goes into a doctor’s office on a rainy day and tells the doctor, "Doc, every time it rains, I get this terrible pain in my crotch."

        He says, "Hop up on the examination table and I’ll see what I can do."

        She gets up on the table, he works on her

      • Too Many Questions
        02/23/08
        A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

        The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I’m a vet - I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what’s

      • The Secret Of Staying Young
        02/21/08
        Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.

        The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all

      • Allergy
        02/19/08
        I took my young son to the doctor for a routine physical. All the way I had to reassure him that he would not be getting a shot. He went through his eye exam, hearing test, etc.

        The nurse came into the exam room and started to ask me routine questions. When she got to "Is he allergic

      • Heoric Act
        02/18/08
        John and David were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

        David promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John ou

      • Fit Middle Aged Woman
        02/16/08
        Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book. Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even broke a sweat.

        "It&#

      • Secret For A Long Life
        02/14/08
        A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

        "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a cas

      • Why Are You Here
        02/13/08
        Two kids in a hospital who were lying next to each other? The first kid leans over and asked, "What are you in here for?"

        The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

        The first kid said," You've got n

      • More Medical One Or Two Liners
        02/12/08
        Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
        Doctor: A shoebox.

        Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?
        Doctor: Sell!

        Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

      • Really Bad News
        02/10/08
        This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

        Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.

        Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first.

        Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 month

      • Vasectomy
        02/08/08
        One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

        "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

        "That's a

      • My Wife Is Going Deaf
        02/06/08
        A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf."

        The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little clos

      • Memory Problems
        02/04/08
        An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

        After ch

      • Medical One Or Two Liners
        02/01/08
        What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
        A double blind study!

        Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places!
        Doctor: Stay out of those places!

        Q. What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon
        A. God dosn’t think he is an or

    • January