The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn.

"Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.

"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed."

An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex. While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!"

A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong. They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong."

This goes on for weeks. Then the doctor asks why they keep coming.

The guy said: "If we go to her house her husband will catch us. If we go to my house my wife will catch us. A hotel costs fifty bucks. Here it's thirty-five dollars and medicare pays half!"

1. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3. Darn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4. Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5. Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8. Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9. "You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, he's got two of them

10. What do you mean "You want a divorce?"

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"

"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."